The inner child is actually a part of us that lies in our subconscious, along with the patterns and programmes we have developed. These are our behaviours that automatically surface when we touch old pain.
Our inner child is none other than ourselves during our childhood, a part of us that needs attention, love and contact. Until now, we have neglected it, it was not part of our conscious life. However, it is still present in the background and determines our reaction in situations based on the pain it is still in. We react hurtfully and childishly.

Allow the child back into your life, heal the old wounds and go from surviving to LIVING!

Working with your inner child aims to dissolve the touched pain from your childhood so that it can no longer be triggered in the NOW.

Imagine that all the memories of your childhood are stored in a long wall of small drawers. Many times these memories are unconscious, some will be conscious, that is what you remember from that time.

Many drawers have a colour, cheerful or not. There are also drawers that light up, these are the drawers in which unresolved traumatic experiences are stored. Because of the energy they radiate, they can be found by your inner child as it searches your past to see if there is old pain that resembles a situation in the NOW. Only the lighted drawers are visited, as there are unresolved emotions there. These all have a different specific frequency.

Entrances to work with your inner child include emotions that arise and memories of painful situations in childhood, but also recent ones.

Emotions as a result of a triggering situation in the NOW.

Being ‘triggered’ is nothing more than your inner child finding a drawer of old unresolved pain that is very similar to the current situation (similar frequency). The old emotion is then brought to the surface and you feel it. You then become angry, sad, jealous or whatever is found in that drawer. So it is your inner child that has this emotion! This one has nothing to do with NOW, but is an echo of long ago. It is your inner child (the little child within you) that shows this emotion to you. She then has the age of the original traumatic event.

So if you feel a strong disturbing emotion in a situation, it is generally not the adult reacting emotionally, but the child piece in you! This is why it is so important not to BE the emotion, but to HAVE the emotion so you can feel and observe it.

OK, suppose you are triggered and you feel resentment, you are accused of something you didn’t do. It is your child-part that is being displeased. She or He is the age of the triggered situation. As an example, you were then accused of something you didn’t do. You couldn’t defend yourself and you couldn’t release your emotions as a result. So these were stored in that conscious drawer and are now being taken out.

An adult response to the situation would be to ask the other party in a neutral way how she got to that.

The child reaction is to feel aggrieved (the triggered situation) and from there react emotionally, being angry or sad including a physical/emotional reaction like attacking or running away.

With memories of painful situations (be it a situation from your youngest childhood or recently), you also feel the associated emotional pain, This is the pain of the small child.

Connect with your inner child Dear…, how are you, how are you feeling?

Acknowledge the emotion Yes, I feel that, it’s okay that you feel that.

Ask about the situation at the time How old are you, what happened?

Acknowledge the situation Oh, that was terrible for you.

What did that do to you?

Acknowledge secondary emotions I understand your anger (or whatever other emotion comes up now)

Give permission for the emotion It’s OK to be angry, just be angry

Give safety I’m here dear, just express your anger.

Help the child express all emotions

(Sadness may follow, or something else) I understand it makes you sad, just be sad

If after some time you feel it is enough for now, say to her, for example ” Well done! It’s enough for now, get some rest and I’ll come back to you soon and we’ll continue.”

This may take a few sessions until all the emotions are processed. ‘It’s okay now’ or so.

After that, it is important to show her that she has done nothing wrong, that it is not her fault, that she is totally okay. Find the perspective on the situation that makes this possible. Once she has understood that, then the situation is neutralised and the light of the late night goes out. This situation can never be triggered again.